“Daddy, what are you thankful for?” my five-year-old asked. We were at the breakfast table with my youngest, age two, after a hectic frenzy getting ready for school. This direct, innocent question was probably prompted by school discussions.
Surprised but inwardly pleased, I smiled and said, “Well, of course I’m thankful for you!” Then I smiled at my other daughter and explained how I was thankful for her too, as well as for my friends.
After I said, “I’m thankful this house,” my five-year-old piped up, “Yeah, because some people are homeless.” I agreed. “And some people are poor,” she said, “and we’re not poor.”
There are many reasons to count your blessings. It’s good for your soul and your mental well being. It’s also good for your personal finances due to something called social comparison.
Make the Right Comparisons
It’s human nature to make social comparisons, comparing ourselves with those around us. In particular, we tend to compare our wealth with others’, both consciously and unconsciously. The negative side is “keeping up with the Joneses”: They accumulate more and more possessions, so we think we need to match their pace. What a source of discontentment that can be!
There’s a flip side. A tried-and-true advantage of pausing to count your blessings is remembering how very fortunate you are. No matter what your plight or your station in the pecking order of socioeconomics, you’re probably better off than somebody else.
For example, are you reading this on a computer?
- Likely you’re not homeless—and many people are.
- You’ve probably eaten something today—and there are those who can’t even get clean water.
- You have the means to access and use a computer, which many people don’t have.
- You have time to read, while some are too busy.
- You can read—and illiteracy, even in the United States, is quite high.
Thankfulness involves a conscious choice about our social comparison point. We can compare upward or downward. Always comparing ourselves to folks who are more materially wealthy than we are gives us the consistent feeling of a “have-not.” However, if we compare ourselves to those who have less and take a moment to be grateful for what we’ve got, we feel wealthy and blessed.
Giving also multiplies our sense of wealth. As I mentioned in my blog Spending on Others is Buying Happiness for Yourself, giving just $5 a day can boost your mood and positively affect your outlook.
See the Big Picture
We compare upward too often when we’re always exposed to people who have more. Watching newscasts or documentaries about less fortunate individuals brings reality into focus. We get a more balanced comparison and can truly see the heart-wrenching conditions numerous people face on a constant basis.
In high school I dated a woman whose parents had spent years as missionaries in Africa. Her father, Jack, was a minister. He’d eat only a small bowl of rice for lunch on a daily basis—and nothing else. For decades this was his way of reminding himself that most of the world lives off the same amount of food or less each day. Jack turned lunch into a thankful moment as part of his routine. He didn’t want to lose touch with how blessed and fortunate he growing up in this country where we have so much.
My blog With Buying Happiness: It’s the Little Things talks about fostering a sense of gratitude and avoiding taking things for granted. Yet another way to bring thankfulness into perspective is to compare your current wealth or possessions with having nothing. Maybe you need (or want) the latest iPhone®. What about having no phone at all?
Look Beyond the Trappings
Obviously, July 4th is more than just Fireworks and Thanksgiving is more than just turkey. A grateful outlook improves our satisfaction levels with life and with our possessions.
Maybe we should all be like Jack and have something in our day prompting us to pause and remind ourselves of how fortunate we are. So take a moment. Count your blessings and realize just how wealthy you really are. Regardless of what you have, you always feel richer when you’re grateful for it!